Sunday, July 13, 2014

Poetry by Dallas

Enjoy this wonderfully poignant poetry, by the talented and passionate Dallas Volk. Dallas is a newly discovered member of the growing Autistic Community. She is also openly transgendered. What many don't know is that being gay, lesbian, bisexual and/or transgendered is actually more common in the autistic community. Dallas is an inspiration in "coming out" with her discovery of being on the spectrum. She and other LGBT people opening up about their Autism Spectrum Condition, may lead other LGBT folks to discover that they too may be on the autism spectrum. Welcome, and thank you Dallas!  

My name is Dallas S. Volk I’ve been challenged all my life, but only recently discovered that my condition is most likely a form of autism. Writing poetry is an important component of my personality; it is a coping mechanism, my unique form of expression and a means of sharing what actually goes on in my head. What makes it so intensely personal, is the confessions and over-shares that can be read in-between the lines. Sharing this work is the hardest thing, because I’m also transgendered. For a long time, I believed I should not be heard or read because of low self-esteem. Now, as my secrets are laid bare, I hope that my dignity will be allowed to remain.

Young man
I’ve got a jukebox brain
When it plays your tunes It drives my heart insane… And I tried not to let it fall Old Soul You have a way with sound When it fills my ears My world turns upside down Alone at night, it’s hard to right it all Tried my best to come unglued discreetly Should have never offered love so sweetly Far too easy to be crushed completely To wear my heart out on a sleeve Big kid Trying to fill his shoes Doesn’t mind stepping on a flower or two In the course of his day He’s merely trying to find his way Sullen girl With a grown man’s face How did I let my soul get stuck in this place? Must shed the skin that ties me to this phase And let it slip away Maybe I’ll be someone else… someday.

TINY ELEPHANT There’s an elephant in my panties Been aware for quite some time The trunk might appear cute to some But that’s no friend of mine Hard to hide that little head With jowls that itch and bind More days than not I’ve had to stop and let it speak its mind There’s an elephant in my panties And it thinks it has to breed No longer shared are those beliefs Grown tired of its need For many reasons left unsaid We must go our separate ways But part of it will be kept inside Awaiting better days

-Dallas Volk

Sweet nicotine

poisonous pal
I’ll not forget your scent
Your wispy form Enveloped many hours Of my time But now I fear To die with every penny Sorely spent Too late To trade tobacco For a cask of wine

-Dallas Volk

THE BILL OF WRONGS Many buy in without question To the deception our world has for sale But then there are those, including myself Who consistently tug at the veil I cannot spy through pinholes In the lie, or hear Past the wool over my eyes and ears Would a glimpse of the truth Be significant proof For a reality check to be clear? If even I had a such a penny For thoughts I would hope that they’d offer them free Little more than a fool would I Be to beg for ears And accept lies for currency
-Dallas Volk

CASTAWAY Feeling lost and alone I’m in a dark place Need to be on my own Please don’t look at my face Search not for answers When I’m in this space You wouldn’t like me It’s no fun being sad Why risk making worse What’s already so bad? Close your eyes, turn away Something dies everyday Don’t be mad If I step into fire Maybe I’ll be reborn Could it cauterize wounds In a heart badly torn? Or would my soul die in the light Bright and warm? Never try swimming Through the tears in my eyes Any vessel of reason Is sure to capsize Say a prayer… if you’ve any to spare Then bid your goodbyes

-Dallas Volk

MAKE BELIEVE You may think that 40 years I was a male No such thing As a sex change for the soul In silence I endured Such crazy pain- but no one knew! Until my presentation Had grown pale

But maybe I’m malingering My concept of the truth Why would you believe What can’t be seen? Talk of torment Through a torrent of self-pity Smack me silly! I’m too beside myself To furnish proof

-Dallas Volk

In reference To preference of pronouns And such Don’t use Him, His and He When referring to Me I would be touched Rather like very much If you’d replace those With Her, Hers And She In retrospect Of self-image regret And burdens that can’t be Shaved free Speak of my mind Leave the body behind How hard does it Have to be?

-Dallas Volk

TIME FRAME I construct things Like my Dad Build up theories I have We both focus- But I tinker in my brain And the world gets left behind Sometimes I run With what I find Hoping it will fly Like a model airplane The dreams released Eventually come crashing Down Gathered broken pieces Stowed away… Forgotten now Father framed himself Out of the picture In many ways, I guess I’ve done the same Struggling to sustain A steady solitude No time or distance Great enough to ease the pain

-Dallas Volk

In my memory… like a song You linger on But I don’t want to hear you fade away If an image of your face Could live inside me Sooner than known- so would it escape If you were just a gypsy I would follow in your wake Willingly accept whatever fate For a sliver of your time I’d let you under my skin While fearing that I reach for love Too late

-Dallas Volk

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